After The Rain OLD version
by IndigoCaress
Summary: Ch 11 Finally up! Lucy and Simon both make plans for the future. SimonMorris :) Warnings necessary for abusive Kevin and homosexual overtones....Please RR if you dare. Thank You!
1. Rain Rain Go Away

I know, I know. Another story from me...I can barely keep up with the ones I've got and here I am starting another one. Well...I can't help it! All these different Lucys and Simons keep talking to me, and the only way to shut them up is to write the stories they bring to me. (And after a few chapters they shut up and I'm left to scramble to get new chapters posted so you guys don't lose interest in me!)   
  
So here is yet another. I'm not even sure what to title this one. Hopefully I'll come up with something by the end of the chapter I'm about to write. I'm going to expand on the one shot fic I wrote last month, titled After The Rain. I may end up re-using that title. I feel that story is complete in and of itself, but the concept or theme of it gave me an idea for a bigger fic...  
  
The standard disclaimer applies, because I have not yet joined the 7H team, and really who would want to claim ownership anyway? (I'll just borrow the characters for my own little stories, for my personal enjoyment as well as the enjoyment of my readers) so I'll just say, they're not mine (thank goodness) and please don't try to sue me for using them. As someone else said in his/her intros...Fan Fic is by definition out right stealing anyway, and you don't know who I am to sue me anyway.   
  
I'll also slap a warning or two on this one: Some material may not be suitable for all readers. Lucy is suffering from a serious and potentially upsetting eating disorder. Please do not read if you think you might be upset because of the reading. My fics are never meant to upset anyone. I just have a personal obligation to tell the story I find within the characters as they present themselves to me.  
  
Also note this is a 'Kevin and Lucy' fic. Kevin may not always be presented in the best light. You have two choices. Read, or don't read. If you read and you don't like how I portray Kevin, stop reading. Or hang in there and see this through. That choice is yours and no one but you can make it. Basically what I'm trying to say is this: Don't yell at me or flame me for writing a story you don't like. Just stop reading, because your fame reviews fall on deaf ears anyway. I'm going to write my story no matter what any nameless, faceless reader says to me in review.  
  
And now that my notes take up nearly a page in Word, I think I should shut up and get on with the story. Congratulations to those of you still reading. I hope I prove worthy of the time and attention. I'll try to write a really great story for you. Now if only I knew what to title it...  
  
  
After The Rain  
Chapter 1/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
  
Chapter One: Rain Rain Go Away  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
I listened to the rhythm of the rain beating down on the roof, and Ruthie's breathing keeping time to it as if Ruthie and the rain were some mystical rock band establishing a beat. I caught myself tapping my finger too, but stopped it immediately because it seemed foolish to do that.   
  
My English-Literature class had recently talked about how an author might use rain to symbolize crying if a character couldn't cry for himself. That concept seemed more appropriate than music, since I didn't feel much like singing, and I couldn't seem to cry even though I wanted to.   
  
I envied Ruthie the ability to sleep, but I couldn't blame her. She's only twelve. She acts tough, and tries to act older than she is, but deep down she's just a twelve year old, a carefree sixth grader. She has no idea how hard life gets with each year, or how lucky she is to be just twelve. She shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up.  
  
Ruthie turned over and presented her back to me. I rolled away from her and faced the wall. Maybe Ruthie will be okay. Maybe she won't have the problems Mary and I have. She saw us go through all kinds of hell, so maybe she learned from our mistakes.  
  
Like I learned from Mary? Ha. I didn't learn anything useful by watching Mary. Mary made her mistakes, and I made mine. I fell in love with guys who didn't love me, just like Mary, even after I saw Mary's heart get broken a hundred times. I couldn't live my life through her experiences, and Ruthie won't either.  
  
I don't even know why I'm thinking about Ruthie like this. Yes, I do. I want to think about Ruthie so I don't have to think about me. Or Kevin. God knows I don't want to think about Kevin. He's probably asleep, in his boxers, sweating in the heat. I don't want to picture the little droplets of moisture on his bare chest.  
  
Maybe the rain helped cool him off.   
  
Maybe the rain could help me cry. I slipped out of bed, quiet as a mouse, trying not to disturb Ruthie. As if on cue, a snore from her reinforced her sleep. I grit my teeth and sat in the window seat, resting my forehead against the glass.  
  
I've seen movies that use rain to show crying when a character can't cry. Of course that's just an actor, not someone who really needs to cry and can't. I'm not a character in a book to be enhanced with fancy words, or a character in a movie who needs special effects to make a scene work.   
  
I'm flesh and blood and I'm in pain, so why can't I cry? I've tried, but the tears won't come. I can feel them back there, just behind my eyes, but it's like they're blocked somehow.   
  
I feel the emotion, I just can't express it.  
  
It's making me sick. I felt the bile rising, and I kicked a pile of Ruthie's school books in the mad-dash to the bathroom. I thought I wasn't going to make it in time.  
  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
I hate rain.   
  
I hate to listen to the pitter-patter of rain on the windows.   
  
I wish the rain would stop.   
  
Rain makes me think of Morris.   
  
I don't like to think of Morris. Thinking about Morris makes my heart ache. I miss him. I wish to God he had never moved away.   
  
But that's really quite typical of my life. Nothing good ever lasts. Like Robert Frost's brilliant poem, "Nothing Gold Can Stay". That should be my anthem, that poem:  
  
  
Nature's first green is gold,   
Her hardest hue to hold.   
Her early leaf's a flower;   
But only so an hour.   
Then leaf subsides to leaf.   
So Eden sank to grief,   
So dawn goes down to day.   
Nothing gold can stay.   
  
  
Eight short lines, one big statement about life and living. Or not living, as the case may be. I feel like I haven't lived since Morris left. I don't want to live since Morris left.  
  
I reached down to pat Happy between the ears. "You're probably the only one who would really miss me if I left." I whispered to her, and she sighed I response. Would she wonder where I went? Would she mope for me? Would she wonder what she did to make me go away? Would she really even know I was gone?   
  
I pushed the sheets off my legs and went to the window. The rain streaked the glass. I tapped my finger on it just because the impulse to do it was too great to resist.  
  
I could almost see Morris running through the promenade in the rain that day, the last day I saw him. We danced around like fools, earning curious looks from the few people who were out, tucked into rain coats or hovering under umbrellas.  
  
Instead of tapping the window with my finger, I hit my head against it. I felt like crying, but only girls and sissies cry. Morris wouldn't want me to cry. I guess the rain is crying for me, like in the movies.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, what do you think? Don't be shy, I really want to know. I like it a lot better than the original After The Rain thing I wrote a few weeks ago, and I hope it's not too much to have Lucy and Simon both think of the rain crying for them. That imagery speaks to me, based on the scene with Emilio Estevez and Craig Sheffer in the movie _That Was Then, This Is Now_ (1985) when Emilio's character is telling Craig's character about his parents. Emilio isn't crying, but he's sitting by the window in the dark, and the rain hits the window just right and it drips down so perfectly it truly looks like the rain is crying for Emilio's character. I love that image!  
I think my muse is trying to find her way back to me (Her name is Josie) so I'm hoping to update all my stories soon...We'll see...Thanks for reading! Lucy Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	2. Morning Comes Too Soon

After The Rain  
Chapter 2/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
  
Chapter Two: Morning Comes Too Soon  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
I hate alarm clocks. I hate them with a passion. Nothing is more annoying than that obnoxious beep. Nothing except my little sister shaking me awake.   
  
"Come on, Luce!" Ruthie shook my shoulder. "Breakfast is ready."  
  
"I'm not hungry," I moaned and rolled my face into my pillow.  
  
"You have to get up for school," Ruthie insisted. At least she had stopped shaking me.   
  
I felt like I could vomit, and the need rose like a bubble in my throat. I threw the covers back from my bed, not caring if they hit the floor. I made it to the bathroom just in time to be sick in the toilet.   
  
"Are you okay?" I could tell Ruthie was standing just beyond the doorway. I had the thought it would be nice if she would come in and hold my hair back for me or put a wet rag to my head like Mom would, but I couldn't really ask my twelve year old sister to do those things.  
  
My only answer to Ruthie's question was to puke again. My throat felt like it was on fire, my eyes ached from the sting of tears building up, and my stomach churned like there were butterflies in it. Sure, Ruthie, I thought, I'm just fine, and how are you? A question like that at a time like this didn't deserve an answer anyway.  
  
I couldn't move, even when the urge to puke had subsided. I wanted to get away from the toilet, but I didn't want to move a muscle to do it. I felt heavy, so heavy. And tired, so tired. I just wanted to sleep.   
  
I curled my arm around the seat and lay my head on it.  
  
Ruthie must have run downstairs, because I didn't hear her yell for Mom, but suddenly Mom was there. And Dad right behind her. Then Simon, Robbie, even the twins were there trying to see.  
  
Mom shooed them all away, all except Dad who came in and slipped his arms under me and carried me back to the bed. Mom had a wet rag, and she sat beside me on the edge of the bed, and held the rag on my forehead.  
  
"Eric, get the kids off to school." Mom said, and everyone else filed out of the room, even Ruthie. I just closed my eyes and tried to shrink into the sheets.  
  
I wasn't sure how I felt about what Ruthie had done. I kind of wished she had minded her own business, but on the other hand I couldn't blame her for getting Mom. I just really didn't want Mom fussing over me all day, and I knew she would.  
  
She started by tucking the sheets around me, creating a little cocoon. I felt trapped but I didn't say anything. I knew I couldn't say anything if I wanted her to go away and leave me alone.  
  
It's just the rain. That's all. I don't like rain. Especially now.   
  
"Mom, don't tell Kevin, okay?" My voice sounded so weak, and for a moment I wasn't sure she even heard what I'd said.  
  
"What?" She looked at me, her eyes wide with shock at my request. Not that it mattered, one of the others would probably tell him anyway.   
  
"Don't tell Kevin. I don't want him to see me like this."  
  
"Honey, he'll see you like this eventually when you get married."  
  
I couldn't suppress the moan, and I moved my hands to my stomach to make her think it was because I didn't feel well. Now was definitely not the time to tell her I had no plans to marry Kevin Kinkirk.  
  
"We're not married yet, so I don't want him to see me now, okay?"  
  
"Okay, honey. If that's what you want."  
  
"It is."  
  
"But I think you should let him know. He'll want to sit with you and help you get well."  
  
I almost shook my head, but thought better of it at the last second. "That's why he can't know how sick I am. He'll miss work, and I don't want him to call out because of me. I'm fine, really. I'm sure it's just that 24 hour bug that's been going around campus."  
  
Even with my eyes closed I knew she gave me a skeptical look. I didn't care. She could think what she wanted.   
  
She patted my leg. "I'm going to go check on your father. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
Lucy looked as miserable as I felt.   
  
I wondered if the rain bothered her like it did me. The pitter-patter of it hitting the roof is so much louder up in her room. I wouldn't be able to sleep at all. Maybe she didn't sleep and that's why she's sick.  
  
I hoped I didn't look as bad as she did.   
  
I wanted to slip in the bathroom, but I knew I would probably puke if I did, and the face in the mirror was one I didn't care to see anyway, not even to check how it looked. I would definitely puke if I had to look at myself.  
  
No one would notice if I looked bad anyway. No one cared enough to notice, except maybe Mom but she was too busy fussing over Lucy.  
  
I followed the others down the stairs with Sam on my hip. Something about Sam pulled at me, at my heart, the moment I first saw him in the hospital. I think I saw myself in him, the runt. The one the other kids always picked on because he's so small. Some people question him and David being twins, because David looks a year or more older than Sam.  
  
I put Sam in his seat at the table. I turned my back to him and headed for the door, hoping Ruthie would follow without objecting even though she hadn't had breakfast. Maybe she wouldn't want to eat after the scene with Lucy upstairs.  
  
"Simon? Aren't you going to finish your breakfast?"  
  
I turned to Dad with my hand on the door knob. "I'm not hungry." The smell of it was enough to make me nauseous and I just wanted out of there, out of the house, away from my parents and Lucy and everyone.  
  
"What about you, Ruthie?"  
  
She didn't say anything but grabbed her lunch bag and followed me out the door.  
  
The rain hit my face, and I thought of Morris. I thought of his hair plastered to his head because of the rain that day, and I could picture him dancing around like a fool, splashing in puddles, soaked to the bone and laughing like an idiot.  
  
I had been hesitant to join him, hesitant to let go of the inhibitions and the fear of public ridicule. Morris grabbed my hands and swung me around, breaking down all my barriers so I was dancing and laughing and having the best time of my life.   
  
Why did he have to move away?   
  
Why did he have to go away and leave me?  
  
Doesn't he know how much I need him? Doesn't he care?  
  
It wasn't his choice to move, and I shouldn't blame him. I know I shouldn't blame him, because he never would have left me like that if he had a choice.   
  
My parents should have offered to let him stay with us. Like Robbie and Kevin, even Ben with the open offer for him to live here if he ever decides to come back to Glen Oak. So they'll take in Lucy's boyfriend and Mary's ex-boyfriends, but not my best friend? That hardly seems fair.  
  
"Simon?" Ruthie's voice broke through my thoughts.  
  
I shook my head to clear it and looked down at Ruthie clutching my hand. I tried to smile at her. "Sorry, I was just thinking."  
  
"Well open the car. It's cold and my lunch is getting wet."  
  
I nodded and unlocked the car door for her.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
End chapter two. Please read and review and let me know what you think. It's really important to me to know what my readers think, and if you have any ideas or suggestions. No flames, please, but I'd appreciate constructive criticism. Thanks so much for reading, you guys are the best! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	3. Keep The Faith

After The Rain  
Chapter 3/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
WARNING: This chapter will be unpleasant for Kevin fans. Please stop reading if you are adverse to anti-Kevin fics, unless you are up for the adventure. Please note I have warned you, Kevin will be painted in an unfavorable light. Please do not waste your time or mine with flames. I'm interested in constructive criticism, not mindless objections to a story I am going to write regardless. That said, I invite you to read and enjoy, and review please!  
  
This chapter utilizes Bon Jovi's 1992 hit, "Keep The Faith" written by Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora, and Desmond Child.  
  
Chapter Three:   
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
I heard his voice, talking to someone downstairs, so I knew he was coming up to see me. Great. Just what I wanted. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to the door, hoping he would go away if I pretended to be asleep. He could check on me, and be done with it. If I had my way he wouldn't even get that.   
  
I didn't hate him, even after what he did. I could never hate him. But what I feel for him now isn't far from hate. I would hate him if I was a different person. Any normal person would hate him. I probably should hate him. Lucky for him, my parents taught me not to hate, so I can't bring myself to it.   
  
He's not worth sacrificing everything I ever knew, and he's certainly not worth the self-loathing that would come out of hating him. So I don't hate him. But I don't love him either. I don't even like him now, and I wish he would just go away. I wish I never had to see him again. I just know the sound of his voice will make me puke.  
  
I felt the rumbling in my empty stomach at the very thought of him coming to my room. If my parents knew what he had done, they would never let him in their house again, much less anywhere near me. I wish I could tell them. I couldn't. Plain and simple. I could never tell them what happened.   
  
Even if it meant I had to put on a front and pretend to still love him, for a while. I would do it to save them the heartbreak of knowing what happened. They could never know.   
  
The only good that would come from telling would be that Kevin would have to leave. Dad would kick him out of the garage apartment and send him back to Buffalo. But realistically Dad could never make Kevin leave. He could kick him out of our house, but he couldn't make him go back to Buffalo. He couldn't make Kevin leave me alone.  
  
I guess that's the reason I can't tell. It's not the fact my parents would be heart broken and their faith in the world would be destroyed a little more. Mary already tested their faith and Simon had too in his own ways. Maybe even Matt made them question a few things along the way. But nothing like this.   
  
I can't tell the because they can't fix it. There's no way to fix what happened, except to get rid of Kevin. Not just send him away. Get rid of him, once and for all. And that will never happen.   
  
He can't be arrested because he's a cop. He'd have the police on his side. No one would believe me anyway, and if it came down to my word against his, preacher's daughter versus cop, the cop would win.  
  
"Hey, Luce," His voice ribboned into my room, filling the air and swirling around my head like some crazy fly I couldn't quite catch. I resisted the urge to turn to him, because even after everything that had happened, I still felt drawn to him, and I knew he would win eventually. I may as well get it over with now. I could pretend he woke me just now, coming into the room with his obnoxiously loud greeting.  
  
Just more fuel to add to my inner fire - he didn't really even care that I was sick. Any reasonable person would enter a sick person's room quietly. But not him, not Kevin.   
  
"Come on, Luce, I know you're awake." He sat down in the chair from Ruthie's desk and scooted it across the floor to my bedside. Anything to make more noise, to wake me for sure.  
  
I had no choice but to roll over and face him. I tried to slant my eyes and I forced a yawn for extra credibility.  
  
He smiled, his picture perfect plaster smile. "How are you feeling?" He reached a hand out to my forehead. "Man, you're burning up."  
  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I really don't feel so good, Kevin. I just want to rest."  
  
"You've been resting all day."  
  
"I'm sick, Kevin. Rest is the best thing for me. My head is killing me." I don't know why I bothered with the last part, Kevin didn't care.   
  
He glanced at the door, as if checking to make sure no one was there. Because of the way the attic was designed we put the closet at the top of the stairs, so you have to walk through the closet to get to the room. Glancing at the door revealed only the closet, and offered no peek onto the stairs and no real satisfaction for someone trying not to be over heard.  
  
Of course Ruthie wouldn't be eavesdropping. Kevin had caught her once, and had somehow broken her of the habit. I swear I will kill him if I find out he laid a hand on my sister. Or anyone in my family.  
  
"Tough up, Lucy. Or I'll give your head a reason to hurt."  
  
I felt the sudden sting of tears biting at my eyes. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
"You can start by getting off your lazy ass. Tell your parents you are feeling better, and make them believe it."  
  
I wanted to shake my head, but the nausea was bubbling already, and I knew I wouldn't make it to the bathroom in time if I made any sudden moves. "No, Kevin. Please. I'm sick. I can't. I need to stay here."  
  
He grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me up to a sitting position and started shaking me back and forth. I tried to hold the bile, but the force behind it overwhelmed me and I couldn't keep it in.  
  
Kevin yelped and released me, knocking the chair over when he stood. "You will pay for that, Lucy," He spat and disappeared.  
  
I wanted to laugh, but I could only cry, and puke again right there in my bed.  
  
Outside, the rain continued to beat down on my roof.  
  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
I took Ruthie home after school and left her in the driveway with instructions to tell Mom I had to go to the library to study.   
  
Once Ruthie was out of the car, I turned the radio on the local rock and roll station. Ruthie wouldn't care if I listened to it, but I liked to drive fast when I had the music on, and I couldn't drive fast with Ruthie in the car, especially in the rain, because she would tell Mom and Dad and I would get my license taken away.   
  
I recognized the song, Bon Jovi's "Keep The Faith"  
  
Well it's hard to be strong   
When there's no one to dream on   
Faith: you know you're gonna live thru the rain   
Lord you got to keep the faith   
Now you know is not too late   
Oh you got to keep the faith   
Faith: don't let your love turn to hate   
Right now we got to Keep the faith   
Keep the faith Keep the faith   
Lord we got to keep the faith   
  
Walking in the footsteps Of society's lies   
I don't like what I see no more   
Sometimes I wish that I was blind   
Sometimes I wait forever   
To stand out in the rain   
So no one sees me cryin'   
Trying to wash away the pain   
  
I felt my whole body tingle from the eerie coincidence that that particular song was playing when I flipped the radio station. I could have gone to the other rock and roll channel, or I could have waited a fe minutes before I made the switch. But no, I made it right then. Right when the lyrics seemed written for me.  
  
It had to be a sign.   
  
The song finished and another came on. I didn't even know what it was. I turned the radio off, and headed to the nearest store so I could buy Bon Jovi's "Keep The Faith" CD.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
End chapter three. I know Simon's part is short, but hopefully it's effective. "Keep The Faith" will play a bigger role in this twisted tale if I can figure out how to do it. So just hang in there and don't forget to let me know what you're thinking! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	4. I Don't Want To Cry

After The Rain  
Chapter 4/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
WARNING: This chapter will be unpleasant for Kevin fans. Please stop reading if you are adverse to anti-Kevin fics, unless you are up for the adventure. Please note I have warned you, Kevin will be painted in an unfavorable light. Please do not waste your time or mine with flames. I'm interested in constructive criticism, not mindless objections to a story I am going to write regardless. That said, I invite you to read and enjoy, and review please!  
  
Chapter Four: I Don't Want To Cry   
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
Kevin came back after he cleaned up. Fresh from the shower and smelling like after shave. He wore his Police uniform, and said he had nothing else clean thanks to me. Of course it was my fault. I'm supposed to do his laundry for him. I think he just likes to wear the uniform because it makes him feel important.  
  
"I'm going out with Roxanne," he announced. Good. Maybe they'll fall in love and he'll leave me alone. Ha. I know that will never happen. Kevin lives to make my life miserable, and so far he's done a pretty good job of it.   
  
I just shrugged and looked away. I realized the rain had let up. Finally. No more rhythmic clip-clop on my roof.  
  
"Did you hear me? I said I am going out with Roxanne." His voice was thick. Heavy with irritation.  
  
The darkness clouding is eyes warned me. He would hit me if I didn't offer the proper response. Maybe I should let him. Let him hit me right there in my father's house. Mom and Dad would...what? Kick him out? I had already covered that, they could kick him out but they couldn't really make him leave. And he wouldn't leave. Men like Kevin never leave.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kevin. I really don't feel well. I wish you would stay here with me tonight. Please don't go out with Roxanne."  
  
"I am going out with Roxanne." He stood and paced the room a few times with his chest thrust out like some kind of hot shot. "And we're going to have a lot of fun dancing."  
  
I tried to look upset. In the beginning, before he turned on me, I had complained every time he mentioned his gorgeous partner's name. I just knew they were having an affair, or an affair was inevitable between them. Now I couldn't care less.   
  
"Kevin, stay with me, please."  
  
"No. I'm not wasting my night off sitting around holding your hand." He came over to the side of my bed and bent down low to whisper in my ear. "Between you and me, I hope you choke on your vomit."  
  
With that, he was gone. Somehow there seemed to be a void in the room where he had just been, and I felt alone. Utterly and completely alone.  
  
I didn't want to start crying. I knew once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. But the tears came anyway. Silent and relentless. I wanted to be a little girl again, I wanted my mother to hold me like she used to when I was sick or hurt or upset about something.  
  
I tried to dry my eyes at the sound of footsteps on the stairs outside my room. Of course the effort was in vain, and the tears kept coming.  
  
"Lucy? Honey?" Mom's voice trembled with concern. "Why didn't you call me?"  
  
Hearing her voice jarred something in me and I gasped with a sob that spasmed through my body.   
  
"I'm...I'm okay..."  
  
"No you're not, Luce. You're not okay."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
Mom checked my forehead for fever then ran to the door and yelled for my dad. And that called everyone in the house up to my room, even Simon's dog Happy wanted to see what was happening.  
  
I hope I gave them a good show when I puked all over the place. They all jumped back with little gasps of shock, horror, and being grossed-out.  
  
"I'm taking her to the hospital," Mom said, and a tremble of motherly concern shook the words.  
  
"Where's Kevin?" Someone asked. I think it was Robbie. "He'll want to go with her."  
  
"No. It's his night off. He's out with Roxanne." I said.  
  
"I'll page him," Robbie offered.  
  
"No! I don't want him to go with me!" I screamed and jumped from the bed. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door for effect. And I puked again. In the toilet this time, thankfully. Not that it mattered, Mom would clean up the mess in my bed like she had earlier today when I puked on Kevin.  
  
"Lucy? Open the door, honey," Mom called from the other side.  
  
I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer. I moved my mouth, but no sound came out. And blackness pulled me down. I couldn't move. I couldn't stop myself from falling into the blackness below that opened like a mouth to swallow me whole.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
The house looked dark and ominous when I drove past it. Only one light shined, in the upstairs window I knew to be Morris' room. Only it wasn't Morris' room anymore. Some young girl called that room hers.   
  
I could see her through the open blinds, dancing around like a maniac. I wondered what music she had on, what pop diva she idolized. But I really didn't care. I only watched her because she was in Morris' room.   
  
I had been to his room only once.  
  
"Well, this is it," he stepped back to let me go first into the room.   
  
I stepped in and looked around. A bookcase occupied one corner, and held nothing but trophies and awards. No books. Maybe two, turned to lay flat. I wondered what they were, what they were about. What kind of books would Morris read?   
  
"It's not much, I know..."  
  
"Stop. It's fine. It's a room. I wasn't expecting the Ritz or anything."  
  
He laughed. Oh how I loved to hear him laugh. He had one of those infectious laughs, the kind that could inspire a room full of people to start laughing, even when they didn't know what was so funny.  
  
"Simon, sit down. I have to talk to you about something." I didn't like the tone of his voice. He sounded so serious, like my dad when he's about to give a long drawn out lecture.  
  
"I don't want to sit down."  
  
He shifted his eyes toward the bed. I sat, but only because he insisted. I had butterflies in my stomach and I didn't like it.   
  
I thought he might kiss me, and that would be okay.   
  
But he didn't look like he was going to kiss me. He looked like he was about to throw up.  
  
Maybe he decided he didn't like me anymore, and he was going to tell me to get lost. I wasn't sure I could deal with that. I'd really prefer that he just kiss me and maybe tell me he's in love with me and he can't live without me, because that's how I felt about him.  
  
But I'm not gay. I can't be gay.   
  
The why am I thinking about Morris kissing me? Why do I want him to kiss me? Do I really want him to tell me he loves me? What if he says he can't live without me? Could I be gay, for him?  
  
No. I'm not gay. I am not gay.   
  
"Simon, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to say it."  
  
He loves me, I know he does. I can see it, the way he looks at me, the softness in his eyes...He's going to tell me he loves me and...  
  
"I'm moving. Next month. I'm going to Texas. My dad got transferred and...and I have to go."  
  
My stomach bottomed out. I felt sick. I felt like I could puke right then and there. I wanted to puke. Dear God, why didn't he just say he loves me? Anything but this. Anything but leaving. Dear God, why? Why? It's cruel and unusual punishment and I haven't done anything wrong.   
  
"No..." I whispered, a pathetic objection.  
  
"I'm sorry, Simon. I have to. I don't want to. God knows I don't want to go. I want to stay here. But I can't. I have to go with my parents."  
  
"No! It's not fair!" I felt tears sting my eyes. I wouldn't cry. Not now, not in front of him. "You're my best friend. You're my only friend. I don't want you to go."  
  
"I'll come back, after I graduate. I'll be eighteen then."  
  
"But that's still two years away."  
  
"I know. But...I have to go with them, Simon."  
  
I wanted to scream and cry and stomp my feet at the injustice of it all. And I might have done at least the crying part if he hadn't kissed me. Just like that, before I could think, he was there, sitting on the bed beside me with his fingers in my hair, his lips pressed to mine.  
  
I never thought my first kiss would be another guy. But I opened my mouth to him, and sighed a little sigh of surrender. I wanted him to do more than just kiss me and comb my hair with his fingers.   
  
"Morris..." I whispered and the screech of tires on wet pavement jarred me back to reality.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
End chapter 4. What a cruel place to stop, I know. I'm so bad. Hehe. You know you love it. And it keeps you coming back for more, and isn't that what it's all about? Please read and review and let me know what you think! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	5. Simon

After The Rain  
Chapter 4/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
WARNING: This chapter will be unpleasant for Kevin fans. Please stop reading if you are adverse to anti-Kevin fics, unless you are up for the adventure. Please note I have warned you, Kevin will be painted in an unfavorable light. Please do not waste your time or mine with flames. I'm interested in constructive criticism, not mindless objections to a story I am going to write regardless. That said, I invite you to read and enjoy, and review please!  
  
Chapter Five:   
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
I could hear them pounding on the door, calling my name. At first it was just noise, and I felt like I was floating or flying, or something. I didn't feel grounded or even real. I resented the commotion pulling me back to myself, chasing away the fog around my brain.   
  
I sat up, rubbing my forehead. Mom sounded frantic, and I think she told Dad to break the door down. I just sat there and waited for the inevitable. Maybe, if I was lucky, the door would cave in on my and kill me. At least knock me out again. I hated to think that way. How had I let my life get so out of control that death sounded like a perfect solution? Since the first night I let Kevin bully me.   
  
(~Flashback, three months earlier~)  
  
He came out of the bathroom dressed in faded blue jeans and a nice button down shirt. I whistled my appreciation and smiled at him. "Where are we going?"  
  
"We're meeting Roxanne for dinner."  
  
The thought of looking at Kevin's drop-dead gorgeous partner all night made my stomach flip with dread. "Oh, Kevin, can't we just go out alone?"   
  
"No, we can not. I invited Roxanne to join us, and you are going to be civil to her."  
  
I stuck my lower lip out at him. "You know I don't like her."  
  
"Well, I do."  
  
"We'd have more fun alone."  
  
His hand shot out and collided with my chin before I even saw it coming. I stumbled back a couple steps from the force of the blow.  
  
"Do you ever shut up?" He asked, his voice harsh, his eyes hard and very dark. He took a step toward me, and his features instantly softened. "I'm sorry, Luce. I don't know what came over me."  
  
I couldn't say anything, the shock of what he had done left me paralyzed.   
  
He reached up and touched my hair, and I flinched. I couldn't help it. He had just hit me. Of course I would react to his hand coming toward me as if I thought he meant to strike me again.  
  
"I invited Roxanne to dinner. It's really important to me that the two of you become friends."  
  
I nodded. What else could I do? My jaw still throbbed where he hit me, and all I knew was I didn't want him to hit me again.  
  
(~End Flashback~)  
  
I jumped back to the present with a little scream as the bathroom door splintered in front of me. Moments later, Mom rushed past Dad to kneel at my side. "What is going on with you, Luce?"  
  
"I don't know..." I whispered, because I couldn't bear to tell her the truth.   
  
"Come on. I'll help you up." She slipped her arm around me and helped me to my feet. I felt weak and dizzy and disoriented for a second. Dad got me from the other side and after two or three awkward steps, he bent down and caught me behind the knees to carry me.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
My first thought when I heard his voice was that Robbie must have paged him as soon as Mom, Dad, and I left the house. Then I thought I might just have to kill Robbie, because I specifically told him not to call Kevin. I didn't want Kevin to know I went to the hospital.   
  
But he was there. I could hear him talking to the nurse, telling her he needed to see "The Camden Family". Great. I don't even have a name now.  
  
The nurse resisted, but after a minute, Kevin got his way. Kevin always gets his way.  
  
How bold of him, to think he could come here and smooth things over. But he would know I hadn't told my parents anything when he got to my bedside. Dad would attack him, hospital or not, if he knew what Kevin had done to me.  
  
I knew something was wrong the second I saw him. He walked like he had his police uniform on, like he thought he was the world's biggest, baddest bad ass. His eyes had the same distant, unemotional darkness they get when he hits me.  
  
Roxanne hovered a few feet behind him.  
  
"Reverend, Mrs. Camden," he said, addressing my parents without even looking at me. Something was definitely wrong. Something big. I got a shiver just thinking about that.  
  
"Kevin?" Mom stepped a step closer to him. He looked like he could hit her. I wished he would, because Dad would kill him if he laid a hand on her.  
  
"It's Simon."  
  
"Simon?" Mom and Dad said in unison, their voices pitched with question.  
  
"He was involved in an accident. They're bringing him here by ambulance."  
  
Mom's hands went to her mouth. "An accident? What...Is he...Oh God..."  
  
I glanced at Dad. He looked up at the ceiling, no doubt saying a quick prayer on Simon's behalf.  
  
"He was parked at the side of the road, and a car crashed into him. I don't know the details but it sounds pretty serious. The driver says he never saw Simon's car, because of poor visibility."  
  
Mom made some sort of inhuman sound, and Dad caught her before she fell to the floor. She turned to wrap her arms around him, and he stroked her hair. I closed my eyes and tried to offer a little prayer for Simon, that he wasn't hurt too badly.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
End chapter 5. How do you like it? Please let me know. I have big plans for this story, so I hope you guys are enjoying it! Thanks for reading (especially reviews!) Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	6. Lucy's Exam

After The Rain  
Chapter 6/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
WARNING: This chapter will show just how abusive Kevin really is in this fic. Please do not flame me if you don't like it. You have been warned this fic is not Kevin-friendly. Read at your own risk.   
  
Chapter Six  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
The doctor came back in my parents or Kevin returned with any news about Simon. The expression on his face made my heart skip a beat. Simon. Simon was hurt badly. I could tell. Dear God, I thought, please let him be alive. As long as he's alive, there's hope. There has to be hope. Please God, don't take him from us.  
  
"Miss Camden," he smiled a generic smile, probably practiced for years. The air hissed out of the stool when the doctor sat down. He rolled the stool up to my bedside and reached for my wrist to take my pulse.  
  
"It's my brother, isn't it?" I asked, more concerned for Simon than myself.   
  
"Your brother?"  
  
I nodded and took a deep breath. I felt like I could cry, just thinking about Simon being hurt. "Simon Camden. He was in an accident. He was being brought here in an ambulance."  
  
Dr. Lindsey shook his head. "I heard an emergency was coming in. I didn't know it was your brother."  
  
"My parents went to check on him. They haven't come back."  
  
"I haven't heard anything. I'll be sure to let you know if I do. Right now I want to discuss your condition." My condition? I know I must have looked at him like he was crazy. I didn't really care what was wrong with me right then, I just wanted to know about Simon. I had an awful, sinking feeling about the whole thing, and I knew I wouldn't rest until I knew my brother was all right. Or at least alive.  
  
I closed my eyes and offered a silent prayer for Simon.   
  
"Miss Camden," Dr. Lindsey's voice interrupted the flow of my thoughts. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He flashed his smile once more, and I felt like rolling my eyes, but resisted the urge. "Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"  
  
Pregnant? Me? Oh God. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't even thought of that. Why hadn't I thought of that? Of course...it makes sense...the sickness, the vomiting, the tiredness...Tears sprung to my eyes and I didn't even try to stop them. I couldn't. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop them.  
  
(~Flashback, six weeks earlier~)  
  
He was angry. Worse than angry. He was pissed off, and saying 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough. I had messed up, big time, and he wasn't about to let me get away with it.   
  
I thought about jumping out of the car and running into the house as soon as he stopped the car. If I could just get into the house...he wouldn't be able to do anything to me tonight. I could talk to Dad, tell him everything...But I knew I would never make it. And if I did, Kevin would have all night to think of some new punishment for me.  
  
I tried to tell him I didn't mean to do it. I really didn't. I don't like Roxanne, and I really don't like when Kevin brings her along when we go out to dinner, but I would never spill my drink on her on purpose. It slipped out of my hand, but Kevin wouldn't listen when I tried to tell him it was an accident.  
  
"Get inside," he barked and I knew better than to argue. I only nodded and got out of the car, and headed for the door to the garage. He came up behind me and grabbed my arm as if I needed his assistance climbing the stairs to the apartment.  
  
He didn't let go until we were near the bed, and by then I could feel his fingers digging into my skin. He shoved me down on the bed with a harsh jerk of his arm. "You will not embarrass me like that again, do you understand?"  
  
I sat up and rubbed my arm where he had held on to me. "I'm sorry, Kevin. I didn't mean it, really. It was an accident. The glass slipped..."  
  
He raised his fist to hit me, and I instinctively cowered away, covering my face with my hands. After a few seconds I heard him step away and I dared to look up. He stood at the end of the bed working his belt loose from his jeans.  
  
Fear knotted up in my belly.  
  
"Come here," he demanded, pointing to the floor in front of him.   
  
"Kevin..."  
  
"Now!" He screamed and I jumped. I moved to the end of the bed, and stood facing him, with my head bent. He jerked my chin up and held my jaw firmly so I couldn't turn away. "You embarrassed me tonight." How many times was he going to say that? "In front of Roxanne. I don't like that."  
  
"I know, Kevin. I'm sorry." I struggled to talk, and with each syllable his fingers seemed to clench tighter on my jaw.  
  
He glared at me, and if looks could kill I would be dead. "You're not sorry. You did it on purpose."  
  
"I didn't!" The whole thing seemed so stupid, and I would have laughed if Kevin hadn't been so unreasonable.   
  
"Shut up!" he spat and shoved me down on the bed again. I thought he meant to hit me with his belt, but the threw the belt aside and opened the front of his pants.   
  
I stared at him, my eyes wide. The word 'rape' spun through my mind and formed a bubble of fear in my throat. The thought created all kinds of distorted images in my mind. But Kevin wouldn't do that. Hitting was one thing. But rape...He wouldn't. He couldn't...  
  
"Kevin?" I said his name softly, hoping to reach him on some subconscious level so he would come back to his senses and realize what he was doing.  
  
"Shut up," he yelped, and his tone sent off warning bells in my head.   
  
"Kevin, please. Can't we talk about this?" I tried to move away from him. I couldn't just lay there and let him do it.  
  
"I'm through talking, Lucy."  
  
I knew in that moment I was fighting a losing battle. He was too far beyond reason, and he wouldn't listen to me. I closed my eyes and turned my mind to a different place so I wouldn't think about what was happening.  
  
(~End Flashback~)  
  
"Miss Camden?" Dr. Lindsey's voice brought me back to the present. I used the sheet to wipe my eyes. The doctor smiled once more. "I've ordered a pregnancy test, Miss Camden."  
  
I nodded. I put my hands over my stomach, and more tears fell. I didn't need the test to tell me. I already knew.  
  
"I need to take some blood." I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I just nodded again and stared at him. "I'm going to send a nurse in, she'll take good care of you. And I'll check on your brother while we wait for the results."  
  
I watched him leave the small, curtained exam room. I thought about getting up, getting dressed, and walking away. I could walk right out of the hospital and just keep walking. I'd catch a bus or a train or something and leave town. Go someplace new, where no one knew me, and no one cared. I could change my name and start over. Just m and my baby, and no Kevin.  
  
But Kevin would look for me. And he would have the police in every county in every state looking for me. My baby would have to live life always looking over her shoulder, waiting for him to find us.   
  
So I didn't move. I couldn't move.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well, there you have it. Chapter 6. I will get back to Simon in chapter 7, and let you know how he is...And I'll give you a little teaser: You know who crashed into his car, and if you really think about it you might be able to guess. But, this is chapter 6. And I want to know what you think of it so far. I am really painting Kevin out to be an unsavory character, but he may have reason for the way he is. Not an excuse, because abuse is a choice, but there may be a reason, and I hope I will be able to explain his abusive behavior. So don't waste your time or mine with flames if you don't like what I have done with Kevin, because I'm doing it anyway. And I know how to delete reviews I don't like ;) And I'm going to go now so I can get this chapter posted. Thanks for reading! You guys are great! -Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	7. A Little Faith

After The Rain  
Chapter 7/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
WARNING: This chapter dabbles in some kind of paranormal experience. I don't want to turn any readers off, but...I believe strange things really do happen. And I've found myself with a perfect set up...So I'm going to use it. Please read and review as usual, and don't bother with flames. Constructive criticism and honest opinions are always appreciated, as long as they are not presented as flames. Thank you.  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
My father came back to my little room looking like he had been up all night pacing the floor. The circles under his eyes looked like bad clown make-up, and his nose burned an irritated red, like he'd been rubbing it a lot.  
  
I sat up a little straighter, mostly because I needed to use my hands to do that which wouldn't draw attention to the fact I had my hands on my stomach. I wasn't ready for anyone, especially Dad, to know about the baby.  
  
"Dad?" How bad is it, I wanted to ask. I didn't have to ask, I could tell by looking at him. It was bad.  
  
Dad sat down on the doctor's stool and moved it close to the bed. He took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb. "He's in surgery now. They won't know the extent of his injuries until he's out of surgery."  
  
I blinked back tears. At least he was alive. "You should be with Mom."   
  
"We're worried about you too, sweetheart."  
  
"I'm fine. Go stay with Mom. Simon needs you right now."  
  
Dad nodded and stood up, leaned over to kiss my forehead. "If you need us, tell one of the nurses to find us."  
  
"I will, Dad. If you see Simon, tell him I'm thinking about him. And I hav faith, Dad. Faith that says he's going to be okay."  
  
He nodded. "Me too, baby. Me too." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze before he walked away. I couldn't watch him go, because his leaving meant I was alone again. Alone with my baby.   
  
I put my hands over my stomach again. It felt flat as always, no sign of a new life in there. I pushed on it, and still nothing. How long before I could feel her? How long before she started to move around, and kick me?  
  
How strange to think something so beautiful could come from something so horrible.  
  
I shut my eyes, blocking the sudden onslaught of images that paraded through my mind. Kevin would want me to get rid it of it. He would demand I have an abortion, and if I refused he would probably beat me up and make me lose the baby that way.  
  
I would just have to tell my parents first. They would protect me. They would protect their grand child. Even if this wasn't the way we all thought it would happen. I didn't do anything wrong, and neither did my baby.  
  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
I felt like I was flying. Literally. I looked down and my body was below me. I could see the doctor, the nurses, working on the body. My body. I watched them curiously as they worked, fighting to save my life.  
  
"Don't bother," I wanted to tell them, "I'm not there anymore. I don't need that body." But somehow I knew they couldn't hear me. They were bound by the laws or experience, and for some reason out-of-body experiences transcended the limits of normalcy.  
  
"You have to go back," a voice seemed to drift on the wind. "You're not finished down there."  
  
I turned my head toward the sound. A little girl sat criss-cross, floating in mid-air. She smiled at me, and the smile was very much like my sister Lucy. The little girl looked like a miniature Lucy in nearly every way.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Who I am is not important."  
  
"Why would I care what you say, then, if you won't even tell me who you are?"  
  
The girl looked annoyed. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in frustration, just like Lucy. "My name is Faith. That's all I can tell you."  
  
I caught myself laughing. "Faith. Is that some kind of joke? Are you like 'my faith' in the world?"  
  
"Something like that. Now listen to me, Simon Camden." Faith stood up, and tapped her foot at me. "An awful thing happened to you tonight and your body is going to be very sore for a while. But you are not supposed to be here. You have to go back."  
  
"What if I don't want to go back?"  
  
My grandmother appeared behind the little girl, and put her hands on the child's shoulders. She wore a beautiful white dress, and she looked radiant. Absolutely radiant.   
  
I felt tears fill my eyes at the sight of her. "Grandma..."  
  
"Simon, my darling, please don't do this," Grandma smiled. "Your parents love you so much. Your brothers and sisters need you more than you realize. Lucy needs you right now in ways you can't even imagine. Go back, Simon. Go back to your body and live your life."  
  
"But I want to stay with you and Faith!"  
  
"Go back, Simon. We'll always be here for you, but you have to go back now."  
  
Everything blurred. Grandma and Faith faded until there was nothing left of them. My head felt like it might explode, and I blinked to try to clear my vision. I couldn't see anything, but I felt hands in my hair, smoothing it back from my face. Then lips touching my cheek.   
  
"He's going to be okay, Eric," I recognized Mom's voice. "I know he is."  
  
"Of course he is," Dad answered. "Aren't you, son?" He gripped my hand, gave it a gentle squeeze.  
  
"Faith..." I whispered, my voice faint.  
  
Mom leaned over my bed, her ear close to my mouth. "What? Say it again, honey. I couldn't hear you."  
  
"Faith..." I said again.  
  
"Faith? Yes, of course we all have faith. You're going to be just fine. Just fine."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's the end of chapter 7. I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you think in review. I know the Simon part is a bit...different, maybe controversial, but I felt like that is part of his story so I had to present it. Hundreds of people claim to have had near death experiences, so why not Simon? Thanks for reading! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	8. Get Out

After The Rain  
Chapter 8/?  
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
NOTE: Uses lyrics from Bon Jovi's 1992 hit, "Keep The Faith" written by Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora, and Desmond Child  
  
WARNING: This story features Abusive Kevin. Read at your own risk.  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
"You are beautiful, you know that? Blue is your color. Definitely," Kevin stated in his sexiest voice. A shy giggle filled the air.  
  
Listening to Kevin flirt with the nurses made me feel sick. I knew he would eventually make his way to my bedside, and I wanted to puke before he did, so that the nurses would make him wait while they cleaned me up. With a little luck he would get upset and leave without seeing me.   
  
I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to have to tell him the news. I wanted this baby to be mine, only mine. Not his. He doesn't deserve to be a father. I didn't want my child living in fear, every day, like I did, wondering when the next blow would come, and what reason he would find to lash out.  
  
My stomach rumbled with apprehension at the thought of telling Kevin about the baby. I never thought it would be like this. I thought I would get married, a beautiful late-summer or early-fall wedding at my father's church. Children would come later, when I had my own church, and we were both ready for the responsibility of a family.  
  
I wanted two, maybe three children. My parents had seven kids, and I love the big family scene, but for me two or three seemed about right. Kevin refused to talk about kids. He said he didn't care if he never had children, and kids were just snot nosed brats anyway.  
  
I wanted to promise my baby she would never have to suffer on account of him, her father, but I couldn't. Once Kevin knew I was pregnant, he would either demand I have an abortion or marry him. Either way I would lose, and so would the baby.  
  
He sauntered into my room, his face at first smooth and almost kind-looking, then suddenly hard and cold and unfriendly, as if he had turned a switch. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the harshness I knew would come from him. He wouldn't touch me, because of the public setting, but he could hurt me just as effectively with words.  
  
He sat down on the doctor's stool and glared at me. "What game are you trying to play here, Lucy?" he sneered.  
  
"I'm not playing games, Kevin. I'm sick."  
  
"You're not sick. You just want everyone to pity you. Awww, poor Lucy. Poor, poor Lucy." He rolled his eyes then leaned in real close, to whisper in my ear. I cringed, instinctively pulling away from him, fearing the thump of his fist crashing down on me. "Poor, pathetic Lucy," his words hung heavy in the air, implying the promise of a beating once he could get me alone.  
  
I closed my eyes and asked God for a distraction. My parents, a nurse, anything. Anything but the doctor who might inadvertently tell Kevin about the baby.   
  
I knew I had to tell him. But I couldn't. I couldn't look at him, knowing what he did, knowing why I was pregnant, and tell him. Kevin Kinkirk didn't deserve to be a father. I certainly didn't want him to be my baby's daddy.  
  
He would probably hurt her like he hurt me. Except he was done hurting me. He was never going to hurt me again.  
  
"I want you to leave."  
  
"Excuse me?" He leaned back, blinking at me, as if he felt he had been wronged somehow.  
  
I stared back at him, narrowing my eyes for effect, hoping he would understand I wasn't being brave just because I knew he couldn't do anything about it in the hospital. "I said get out. Leave. Not just the hospital. The apartment over my parent's garage. I want you out of my life."  
  
He jumped up from the stool as if he had been hit from behind. He paced, calculating his next move. For a moment I almost felt sorry for him. Then I remembered what he had done to me, what he was capable of doing, what he would make me do if he knew about the baby.  
  
I could see the thoughts rolling around in his head. He must have felt trapped, paralyzed. He wouldn't try anything. He couldn't. It was too risky here. Too many people around, too many witnesses.  
  
But if looks could kill, I would be dead.  
  
He sat back down, laughing his evil laugh, and he put his hand against the side of my face. I forced myself to stay strong. I didn't let myself recoil from his touch. He patted my cheek like someone might pat a dog. I focused on my breathing to keep from crying.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Luce," he said finally, and with a hard, determined tone.   
  
I closed my eyes briefly. My mind presented a horrifying image, I could see myself on the bed, half naked and bloody where he had struck me in the face. He was on top of me, ignoring or perhaps more determined because of my resistance. I couldn't fight him, I knew I would never win.   
  
I didn't want that to be my future, my child's future. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened my eyes to stare at him. "My father won't let you stay when he knows what you've done."  
  
He laughed again and moved in close to me. He put his hand on my throat with just the slightest pressure. Enough to let me know he could strangle. "No one will believe anything you say."  
  
"My father will. Sargent Michaels will."  
  
He backed off then, his face totally void of any emotion. Not even anger showed in his expression. He backed himself toward the door. "This isn't over, Lucy. Not by a long shot."  
  
He was gone and I gave in to the tears.  
  
*~Simon~*  
  
I felt myself drifting, like a piece of driftwood lost at sea. A quiet peacefulness settled over me, and still I felt an element of fear. No, not fear. But something close to it. Unsettled. I felt unsettled.  
  
Well it's hard to be strong   
When there's no one to dream on   
Faith: you know you're gonna live thru the rain   
Lord you got to keep the faith   
Now you know is not too late   
Oh you got to keep the faith   
Faith: don't let your love turn to hate   
Right now we got to Keep the faith   
Keep the faith Keep the faith   
Lord we got to keep the faith  
  
Bon Jovi filled my head. Faith...something about Faith seemed familiar. Faith. That's what I said when I woke up. Came out of unconsciousness. Whatever. I said 'faith' and Mom thought I meant I had faith. I could never tell her what I meant. Faith was a little girl, she looked like Lucy, and I saw her.   
  
I don't know who or what she was, but I saw her. She talked to me and told me I had to go back. I was outside my body, and Faith sent me back to it. To life. Whoever, whatever she was, I owed her my life.  
  
I opened my eyes and he was there. Morris. Standing at the foot of my bed. But how? He couldn't be real. Had to be a figment of my imagination, like Faith and Grandma had been. I saw Grandma too. Grandma was with Faith. And now Morris was with them too.   
  
I blinked and he was gone.   
  
"Mor...Mor..." I moaned, unable to control my tongue enough to talk.  
  
Someone squeezed my hand. I looked tot he side. Mom. Of course it was Mom. Dad held my other hand, I could feel his grip.  
  
"Shhh," Mom cooed. "Don't try to talk, Simon. The doctor said you need to rest."  
  
"Mor..." I tried again. Failed again.   
  
"Morris? He's here, son," I turned my head to Dad's voice.   
  
Dad stepped to the side a little, and Morris was there, behind Dad. I couldn't see clearly but I could see him, his hair wild, curling all over the place. His face looked...bruised.   
  
Dad let go of my hand and Morris stepped up to take his place. He looked like some kind of circus freak with makeup smeared everywhere. I blinked, tried to refocus my eyes.   
  
Morris squeezed my hand. "I'm so sorry, Simon," he whispered and I felt a warm drop of a tear hit the back of my hand.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
End chapter Eight. This story is moving right along. Unfortunately with tax season moving right along as well, I will be working nights at H&R Block, so...I may not be able to post chapters as often as I would like...Please bear with me and keep reading, and reviewing. I like to know what my readers think. Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	9. Telling What Happened

After The Rain  
Chapter 9/?  
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
I want to say a real quick thanks to all of you who have reviewed this story, and I am sorry I have taken such a long break between chapters. Hopefully I can get back to a regular schedule of writing and keep all my fics updated regularly. I have some really big plans for this one, so I think I'll shut up now and get to the business at hand...writing chapter 9!  
  
First, a couple warnings. Domestic abuse/Abusive Kevin and homosexual overtones appear within this story. Read at your own risk, and don't waste your time or mine with childish flames, they only make you look immature. That said, it's time to move on...  
  
Chapter 9:  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
I thought I felt the baby move inside me when Kevin left, even though it was way too little for that. I put both my hands on my stomach and rubbed it gentle, thinking maybe the baby could feel me. I wondered if she knew what a terrible burden she presented for me. I wished there was a way I could have her and keep her all to myself, without telling Kevin or my parents or anyone.   
  
"How are you doing, Luce?" Mom and Dad barged into my room without so much as a knock. I tried to ease my hands away from my belly so they wouldn't notice anything or question me. But they didn't know what had happened between Kevin and me, they didn't know pregnancy was even a possibility.  
  
I shrugged and tried to look normal, as normal as I could sitting in a hospital bed. I knew they would ask me if the doctor figured out what was wrong, and what would I tell them? I didn't want to tell them I was pregnant. I didn't want to see the looks of disappointment and 'you know better' on their faces. And I certainly didn't want to tell them how it happened...  
  
"How's Simon?" I asked.  
  
Mom sat down on the doctor's stool and Dad stood behind her. "He seems to be doing as well as we could hope. His friend Morris is with him."  
  
"Morris?" I asked, remembering Simon's friend who had moved away. Maybe he went to college.   
  
"Morris is the one who hit Simon's car. He was driving by his old house and he lost control of his car in the rain and hit Simon."  
  
Wow. I swallowed hard and tried to digest that information. "What was Simon doing there?"  
  
Mom and Dad looked at each other and the tension between them was so thick I could have cut it with a knife. Finally Dad looked away and Mom reached for my hand. "Have you seen the doctor yet, Luce?"  
  
I had hoped for a little more time, but I nodded. I had to tell them, there was no use lying or stalling any longer. They would find out soon enough anyway. And telling them, my parents, would be easier than telling Kevin.  
  
But where to start? Should I just say it, 'Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant.' And hope for the best, or should I lead up with the awful truth of what Kevin did to me? I wasn't even sure I could find the words to tell them that part of it.   
  
"I'm going to have a baby." There I said it. Six simple words.   
  
They looked at each other again, then they looked at me. Dad was the first to look away again, and he started pacing the small walkable space behind Mom.  
  
"Excuse me?" Mom said, her tone harsh and angry and disappointed, no less than I expected.  
  
"I'm pregnant."  
  
"I heard you."  
  
I knew all the lectures about waiting for marriage, the dangers of premarital sex and ultimately what a failure I must be must have run through her mind at the speed of light. Didn't I listen to them at all? Didn't I care what this would do to them, their image, the church? Imagine what people will say! The gossip will be unbearable! How could I be so selfish?   
  
Could imagine all her thoughts, and not once would she stop to think maybe there was more to it.   
  
"You will marry him."  
  
"It's not that simple, Mom." I felt my hands move back to my stomach, as if I meant to protect the baby from my mother.  
  
"Oh yes it is. I will not have any daughter of mine running around pregnant without marriage. You will marry him, Lucy. As soon as your father can arrange it."  
  
Her eyes blazed fire at me, and I knew anything I said now would fall on deaf ears. But I couldn't just lay there and let her bully me into agreeing to the last thing in the world I wanted.  
  
"Will you listen to me, mother? I am not going to marry Kevin because I don't love Kevin. I hate him."  
  
"That's nonsense, Lucy. You're emotional, which is understandable. Your hormones are out of whack."  
  
"He raped me mother. Do you still want me to marry him?"  
  
They were both staring at me then. Mom and Dad, their eyes huge, their mouths drawn up in tight expressions of shock and disbelief.  
  
"You don't have to say that, Lucy. It's all right. We know you love Kevin and Kevin loves you. I would have preferred you wait until you were married, but we can get you married this weekend, can't we, Eric? Then you can say you got pregnant on your wedding night and no one will ever have to know."  
  
"You're not listening to me Mom! Kevin raped me. He's been hitting me for weeks!" I felt such anger that the words flew out of my mouth. And they weren't as hard to say as I thought they would be. And it felt good to say them, even if my mother wasn't hearing me.  
  
Clearly she wasn't hearing me at all. Or she was in denial, like I had been in denial for so long. Finally Dad put his arm around her shoulder and lead her out of the room. He never said a word to me. And when they were gone I covered my face with my hands and cried into my palms.  
  
Dear God, why was this happening? Why me? Am I being punished for something? I can't imagine what I have done that would be so horrible as to deserve this. I don't deserve this, and my baby, an innocent baby, doesn't deserve this.   
  
*~Simon~*  
  
My parents left and Morris sat next to my bed. I tried to get a good look at him, but the more I tried to focus the more my vision blurred until I had to close my eyes to keep the room from spinning. I gripped his hand as if I needed to reassure myself he was really there.  
  
"I can't believe you're here," I whispered. My voice had no strength and it hurt to talk.  
  
"I can't either."  
  
"How did you know?" Had my parents called him after my accident? Even so...how long had I been out that he had time to get to the hospital?  
  
He didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm the one who hit you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I came home for the weekend. I was going to see you, but I wanted to go by the old house first. I heard the new people had done some remodeling and I just wanted to see. I was driving by the house, and I lost control of the car. I skidded and when I tried to correct it I over corrected and slammed right into your car. I didn't even know it was you until...until the paramedics came and pulled you out of the car."  
  
I forced my eyes open then, and I tried again to get a good look at him. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"Just a couple bruises. Nothing serious."  
  
"What about me?" No one had told me anything about my injuries. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  
  
"They weren't even sure you were going to make it. But you're awake and talking now, so it looks like you're out of the woods."  
  
A child's face floated in front of my mind. Faith. "Faith sent me back. She said Lucy needed me."  
  
"Faith?"  
  
"A little girl." It didn't even occur to me how ridiculous that must have sounded. "I saw her and my grandma. They told me it wasn't my time and I had to go back. Faith looked just like Lucy, only she was a little kid. And she told me Lucy needed me."  
  
"So it was like one of those near death things?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess so."  
  
Morris laughed. Oh how I have missed the sound of his laugh. "I think you're going to be just fine, Camden." He patted my leg and I knew as long as he was there I would be okay.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
End chapter 9. I hope it was worth the wait and I'll do my best to push chapter 10 out in the next few days. Thanks for reading. Please R/R. Thanks! You guys are the best, but you already know that! ~Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	10. Shocking Revalation

After The Rain  
Chapter 10/?  
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
Can you believe there really aren't any author's notes necessary for this chapter? I thin that is a first for me so I'm going to get right down to business with the chapter...  
  
Chapter 10:  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
When I closed my eyes I saw myself, wearing a long flowing white dress, walking down the aisle of my father's church. Matt walked with me, to give me away, his arm linked in mine, his fingers gripping just a little too tight, as if to keep me in line, or to keep me from bolting away at the last second. As we approached the alter where my father stood waiting, I realized it wasn't Kevin waiting for me there, but a monster with huge teeth and eyes wide with the anticipation of a juicy meal.  
  
I sat up straight, clutching my throat, struggling to breathe. A dream, I moaned. It was just a dream. It wasn't real, and would never be real because I will not marry Kevin. I can't.   
  
"Knock, knock," a voice called and a blonde head poked around the door. Roxanne. Great. Just the person I never wanted to see.   
  
"Hey," I tried to sound casual, even as I looked over her shoulder because I knew Kevin had to be with her.   
  
She came into the room and pushed the door shut. Good. No Kevin. At least not yet. Panic rocked through me at the thought that he might be talking to Dr. Lindsey or my parents and either of them might tell him about the baby. Dear God, I don't want him to know. Please, God, don't let anyone tell him...  
  
My hands went to my stomach protectively, but I swallowed the panic and forced my hands away, casually so Roxanne wouldn't notice anything. I couldn't help it if someone else told Kevin, but I wasn't about to tell Roxanne.   
  
They would all know soon enough and I would be forced to meet the monster at the end of the aisle, unless...I closed my eyes briefly, just for a second, to silently promise my baby I would take care of her.   
  
"How are you feeling?" Roxanne asked. I opened my eyes just as she sat down on the doctor's stool because there was nowhere else to sit, and I couldn't help but notice how she flinched. She reminded me of how I felt after Kevin knocked me around sometimes.  
  
I shrugged and made a mental note to watch her more closely, even though I really didn't want to figure it out if Kevin was hitting her too. "Okay I guess," I sighed. "Better now that I've stopped puking every five seconds."  
  
"I bet," Roxanne laughed almost nervously.   
  
"It was really sweet of you to come by and see me."  
  
She shrugged, and I saw the start of a stifled frown. She raised her arm. It looked like she meant to run her fingers through her hair, but she stopped herself and her arm dropped back down to rest in her lap. I grit my teeth and closed my eyes again, determined to ignore the signs and the truth I had never seen before.   
  
"I was with Kevin when he got the call about Simon." Her voice sounded so small suddenly.  
  
I nodded and looked at her, searched her face. She looked so tired. Tired and run down. She looked like me. "He told me he was going to see you. He wanted me to come too, but I was sick. Obviously." I darted my eyes around the room and hoped she hadn't realized I was studying her.  
  
She raised her eyes to meet mine, then looked away quickly. She seemed to want to say something, but thought better of it in the second jst before the words tumbled out into the air. She glanced over her shoulder, checking to see that the door was still closed, then she looked back at me.   
  
"I hate him, Lucy. I really hate him."  
  
"Who? Kevin?" I knew she meant Kevin, she had to mean Kevin because nothing else made sense. Even that didn't make sense, unless...unless Kevin beat her too.   
  
She pushed up the sleeve of the arm she had attempted to raise a moment ago. Several purplish-blue spots dotted the area just above her elbow. She manipulated her arm to show me four finger marks and another off to the side.  
  
"The other side looks just like it."  
  
I just stared at her. I didn't knw what to say, what she expected me to say. I felt like puking.  
  
"I know he hurts you too. He tells me about it sometimes. Especially when it's my fault."  
  
"It's never your fault!" The words shot out of my mouth.  
  
She shrugged. "Sometimes it seems like it is. Like the night you spilled your drink. It wasn't my fault, but I knew he beat you that night because of me."  
  
Dear God, no! Please tell me he didn't tell her what he did to me that night. Dear God, please tell me he hasn't done the same thing to her...  
  
I looked down at my hands where they lay on my belly. "Roxanne..." Her name hung on the air like a dead weight, but I didn't know what else to say. What could I say? Roxanne knew I never really liked her. She had always seemed to be everything I wasn't, which made her exactly what Kevin wanted. In my mind. I was jealous of her, and my jealousy turned into hate on the surface. Now that I knew the truth, I felt small and stupid and I just wanted to be alone to think, to try to sort this all out in my head.  
  
"I heard your parents talking, Lucy, and your mom said you're going to marry Kevin this weekend."  
  
"I am not going to marry him."  
  
"What are you going to do then? When he finds out you're pregnant..."  
  
So she knew about the baby. She probably knew blow by blow how it happened that night. Kevin would have enjoyed telling her. Or acting it out on her. "I told him I never want to see him again."  
  
"You know he's not going to just walk away. He lives in your parent's garage."  
  
"I threatened to tell Sergeant Michaels what he does to me. What he did to me."  
  
Roxanne nodded and looked down at her hands. I could tell she didn't think telling Sergeant Michaels would be enough, and even I knew it probably wasn't. Kevin would only get more angry and more violet if I ratted him out to a superior officer just because he happened to be a friend of my father.  
  
"I'm leaving town," I said suddenly, the words as much a shock to me as to her.   
  
"What?" She blinked and her eyes bulged like they might pop out of her head.  
  
"I have to. For my baby." I rubbed my belly, which seemed to have swelled in just a few hours. "I have to." Leaving was the only option I had, if I wanted to keep myself and my baby safe. I had to leave. The alternative was unbearable.   
  
*~Simon~*  
  
Morris slept in the chair, his feet propped up on my bed. He looked so young, so innocent, despite the purple bruises on his face. My vision had cleared a little, enough that I could see him. I wondered if he had any idea how beautiful he was. Probably not.   
  
I closed my eyes and imagined kissing him. I could feel his hair, my fingers combing through his beautiful curls. I could feel his hands in my hair, his fingers gently caressing my head.   
  
When I opened my eyes he was awake, looking at me. He smiled. I smiled.   
  
"hey."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"Like I got hit by a huge truck."  
  
"I'm really sorry about that."  
  
I started to shake my head, but it hurt too much. "It's not your fault, Morris."  
  
He shrugged and his feet fell to the floor. He sat up and leaned forward a little. "I wanted to ask you what you were doing there."  
  
I closed my eyes, remembered the overwhelming loneliness that had driven me to sit in front of his old house in the rain just to try to feel closer to him somehow. "I was missing you," I said simply.   
  
"Simon..." He started, looked down at his hands, dug at the dirt under his fingernails, then looked up at me again, and there were tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No, Morris. You don't have to be sorry."  
  
"You I do. I am. About everything."  
  
I put my hand out and he reached for it, held it tight. "You're here now, Morris. That's what matters."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
End chapter 10. Please Read and Review. It means the world! Thanks! You guys are the best. Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


	11. Future Plan

After The Rain  
Chapter 10/?  
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star  
  
I am so bad. I should have had this fic, and all my fics, updated weeks ago. I've been saying once Tax Season was over, and I wasn't working two jobs I'd get back to a regular routine of writing…Then I got sick and we lost three employees at my work all at once (Day Care…one pregnant, one hit a child, one flat out quit…)It's been a mess at work so I've been working overtime and stuff…Not that you guys really care. You just want me to get down to the business of writing, so here is the latest chapter of After The Rain, and hopefully the others will lend themselves to updates soon…  
  
This chapter carries abusive Kevin and Simon X Morris warnings. Read at your own risk. You have been warned.  
  
Chapter 11:  
  
*~Lucy~*  
  
"I'm going with you."  
  
I blinked at her. Roxanne. Kevin's partner. A cop. "What?" How could a cop just leave? Cops don't leave. Cops are supposed to be strong, protective, fierce.   
  
'I can't stay here. He'll kill me. Luce, you know what he's capable of. You're the only one."  
  
For one split second I almost suggested staying and joining forces to fight him. But it would never work. Especially with me being pregnant. My baby had to be my first priority, even before trying to take Kevin Kinkirk down.   
  
My hands lay against my stomach. My baby. I had to leave. For the baby. I had no choice. I would do what I had to do, anything to keep my baby safe.   
  
"Roxanne…" her name felt like a balloon losing air, drifting away, wilting.  
  
She looked down, then up and her hair fell like a curtain around her face. "I'm a cop. I have connections. I know a guy. I can get fake IDs and we can go to Mexico if we want. Anywhere."  
  
"How soon?"  
  
"I don't know. I'll have to get away from Kevin to see him about it. And I need a picture. Do you have your driver's license with you?"  
  
"In my purse."   
  
I watched her walk over to the storage cabinet. She struggled to get her arms up high enough to open it, and I had to close my eyes. But then I saw a scene so clearly in my mind, Kevin backing Roxanne into a corner, hitting her, kicking her, attacking her methodically until she collapsed on the ground, and Roxanne moaning, curled up in the fetal position to protect her face as best she could.  
  
He would never hit her in the face. Her uniform would hide bruises from the neck down.   
  
"I was never here, you know that, right?"  
  
I nodded and she was gone. I lay there thinking how easy it would be to get up and walk away on my own, before Roxanne came back. Before Kevin came back. Before I saw my parents again. I didn't want to see them. I wasn't sure I could keep my cool, and my secret. They would know, Kevin would know, something was up.   
  
I took a deep breath. I had to stay calm, I had to keep my plans a secret, for the baby's sake. I couldn't risk letting Kevin anywhere near the baby.  
*~Simon~*  
  
"Get me out of here."  
  
"What? Dude, you can hardly sit up," Morris looked at me almost as if I was speaking a language he didn't understand.   
  
"You can carry me."  
  
His puzzled expression made me think he thought I must have lost my mind. Maybe I had. I would, for certain, if I stayed in the hospital much longer. I felt like a monkey on display at the zoo, laying there where anyone could come by and look.   
  
"Morris, please, man. I'm begging you."  
  
He stood up and paced the small space between the walls at the end of my bed. My vision had improved only slightly, but enough to see that he looked like he had lost weight. He was so thin. Paper thin, some people might say.   
  
"I can't, Simon. You know I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Your parents for one."  
  
I rolled my eyes, which hurt and I grimaced. "I don't care about them, or the stupid doctors or anything. I want out of here. I have to get out of here."  
  
He stood at the end of the bed with his hands on the footboard. I imagined he gripped it so tight his knuckles turned white. I wanted to tell him I was sorry, I didn't mean to put him on the spot like that, but I couldn't make the words come. I was sorry, only because I couldn't get out of the stupid bed by myself.  
  
"It's not that easy, Simon. Where am I going to take you? I'm no doctor. I can't take care of you."  
  
Morris taking care of me. Now that was a thought I liked. I could see the two of us living together, alone, somewhere far far away from my parents and his parents and everyone. Just the two of us. Morris and me.   
  
I reached for his hand and he moved to stand next to the bed. I brought my other hand up to the back of his neck and pulled him down to me.   
  
His lips were dry, but his mouth yielded to me. I closed my eyes and felt an electric shock jolt through me when our tongues touched. My mind drifted away, into a peaceful oblivion for just a few moments that felt like flying. I was soaring over the top of the world and Morris was right there with me.  
  
After a long, intense moment, I dragged my mouth to his ear and whispered softly, "When the doctor gives me the okay then. I want you to get me out of here. Out of Glen Oak."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
End chapter 11. I hope it was worth the wait. ;) Please use the review option to leave your thoughts, and don't waste your time or mine with flames…Honest feedback, constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks so much! Lucky Star (JJsLuckyStar@aol.com) 


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